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The phone call: why didn't it come?

It’s Saturday night, you’re out with a few friends and unexpectedly you meet a handsome stranger. You end up spending most of the evening flirting, drinking, laughing, talking & dancing. At the end of the night, he asks you for your number as he say’s he would like to take you out for dinner. 

As you get into the cab feeling ever so elated, you mentally press rewind and start replaying the evening in the back of your mind. You break out in an uncontrollable grin, despite the fact that your new pair of heels have left your feet sore and it’s 5.00am. Your thoughts are then rudely interrupted with the sound of a text alert. As you reach in your handbag, you silently wish for it to be him. YES! It's him, telling you how much he enjoyed your company and will call you later on... OH YES, ISN’T LIFE GREAT!

Sunday afternoon – hmmm no phone call, he’s probably sleeping, it was a late night, I’m sure he’ll call tonight... Sunday evening – I know he has a pretty early start with his job, so in between nursing a hangover and sorting himself out for work, he will probably leave it for tomorrow. Monday evening – may be he’s playing it cool, he doesn’t want to come across too keen, guys are like that, aren’t they? Tuesday evening – Why hasn’t he called? He said he liked me and wanted to take me out for dinner. Why did he say all of this, if he was not interested?

For all you guys reading this, it's true, this is what most women who you’ve said you would call, go through. Whilst it may just have been a polite gesture on your part, or a spontaneous request, by not calling you hurt someone’s feelings. If you think this is OTT, just think of those times when you have plucked up the courage to approach a woman, after you think she has been giving you signals, just to be outright rejected. If you’re smirking thinking, well now she knows how it feels, two wrongs don’t make a right!

And guys in case you’re thinking, well she’s got my number, why doesn’t she just call me? Firstly, you asked for the number, so the onus is on you to follow up. Secondly, you said you were going to call, if a woman then chooses to call, there’s a good chance you’re going to think she’s overly keen or just desperate. And thirdly, women also have pride. But let’s be honest here, without the chase your interest is going to wane anyway, isn’t it?

So ladies why hasn’t he called? Often, when guys ask you for your number, at that precise moment he intends to use it. After that moment has literally passed, a new game comes into play. The next morning he will mull over it, questioning whether he had his beer goggles on? How well he connected with you – does he see any long term potential, or is it best left as a night of fun? Is he ready to, or can he even be bothered to, have a relationship? And the list could go on. But in a nutshell, if he hasn’t called you within 72 hours, he’s just not interested. It doesn’t matter how busy a guy is, if he genuinely likes you, he will find the time to contact you.

For arguments sake, let’s reverse the tables for a moment. Guys imagine that you meet someone at a singles event, or in a bar and you really like her. You spend most of the evening with her, and at the end of the night you ask her for her number. She insists on taking yours and says she will call you. How does it make you feel, when that call does not come? If you put your male ego aside, part of you will probably be disappointed and you may move on quickly. On the other hand, depending on how much you liked her, in your ‘male-way’ you will pretty much go through the same motions, as women do.

Thus, the moral of this story is that we are all adults. If it is just a 'one evening thing' then leave it at that. If you’re not going to make that call, please don’t take, or ask for their number!



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Comments

Thank you for writing this article, it has happened to me on a few occasions and it's so frustrating and you start questioning what you did wrong. So it's great to get some perspective and insight on these situations!
 

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