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Is Your Stinginess Hindering Your Dating Opportunities? By Alpa Saujani

I love a bargain, as an Indian I am convinced it's in my DNA. Equally, I appreciate that you pay for what you get in life and not surprisingly, the dating game is no exception. Often, people do not yield the results that they desire in their love life but fail to attribute part of this to their choice of spending habit and attitude of investment in this area of their life...

Free hook up apps

It say's what it does on the tin, so it's puzzling when people use hook up apps to seek a serious relationship. Sure, the minimum effort, instant gratification and free-ness are all appealing factors but the odds of finding that special someone are likely to be the exception rather than the rule. Put another way, would you intentionally date a commitment phobe when you're seeking a serious relationship?

Free online dating websites

If you're serious about meeting someone, why would you seek out the cheapest option and devalue the importance of your love life? Effectively you're shopping around for a life partner, not a packet of light bulbs from the pound shop. Whilst a free dating website will save you money, it will be at the cost of time and probably sanity as you weed through the masses, trying to figure out who is on the same page. Let's be honest, trying to meet someone at the best of time can feel like seeking a needle in a haystack, why would anyone want to make the process even more challenging?

Free & cheap dating events

What's the difference in mindset, commitment and calibre of someone who pays to go to an organised Asian dating event, versus someone who seeks out a free, or cheap dating events? When there's a free/cheap buffet, it attracts a variety rather than a type. To accommodate this demand, the quality of the food is compromised. However, when the buffet is expensive it attracts a type of like-mindedness and the quality of the food is retained.

Social & networking events

Have you ever been to an ‘Asian networking event', which is kind of a Asian singles event but not said out loud. You get there and most of the ‘networking' is taking place amongst the same gender, or in cliques and the ratio of women to men is skewed. There's really no structure and you leave disheartened. Well that's a classic case of ‘you pay (or may be you didn't) for what you get. Whilst it's good to go to different events and widen your network, going to these events as a substitute to organised dating events, well we already know what happens...

Eggs into one basket

Most people would not put all of their money into one bank account, so why would they put all of their eggs into one basket when it comes to dating? The dating game is all about maximising opportunities by exploring different options. For example, if you're online dating and not having much luck, isn't that more of a reason to go and try a dating event? People can adopt the mentality of not wanting to spend more money because something is not working. However, the irony is that this is when they do need to spend more in order to try something different, to get a different result.

When you're serious about meeting someone, there really is no room for stinginess in the dating game, or you will miss out on opportunities. If you consider that everyone is effectively a stranger, you can only judge a person's calibre and seriousness based on the type of dating services that they choose and their respective investments. Furthermore, if we consider that when people decide to go to college, university or do professional exams, they generally do not penny pinch, or compromise on their time. They value and recognise the importance of this investment as it will shape the rest of their life. Arguably, meeting that special someone has equally, if not more impact on shaping one's life. That person is who you are planning on spending the rest of your breathing, living life. Can you even put a price tag on that? Yet the importance of this, is often overlooked and undervalued.

Sure, you can save money by putting all your eggs into one basket, seeking out free dating services, cheap and non-dating events but you're still be paying a price, albeit non-monetary. I guess ultimately it comes down to where one places more value, the genuine desire to meet and be with that special someone, or their bank balance...

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Thanks for putting this out there, it certainly will give people food for thought! I am constantly telling my friend this, she wants to meet someone decent and serious but is not prepared to 'pay' to do it. She goes on dates from these dodgy websites, most of the guys just want to hook up and then she wonders why she has not met anyone!


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