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By behaving sheepish when it comes to using Asian dating services are we making a big deal out of nothing? By Alpa Saujani

Let’s be honest, we all harbour romantic notions of meeting the person of our dreams serendipitously. But the harsh reality is that whilst juggling successful & demanding careers, busy lifestyles and elevated expectations how many opportunities are there really for serendipity to make that one-in-a-million encounter occur? This is why many of us are now turning to modern approaches, such as; British Asian Dating Sites, Asian Dating Events in London and Asian Dating Services like personal matchmaking. So shouldn’t we be thankful that we have all these choices available, rather than put undue pressure on ourselves and hide our participation in shame?

Seriously, why are we embarrassed and uncomfortable about admitting our partaking to others? Is it the fear of being perceived desperate? But what’s so desperate about proactively seeking your personal goals, you wouldn’t be judged in the same way if you were being proactive to achieve your professional goals. Is it the prospect of being viewed as a failure? Isn’t a failure someone who gives up after not being able to fulfil their desired goal? This is contradictory in itself, you’re not giving up, you’re rising to the challenge by exploring alternative ways to fulfil your goal of meeting a life partner. Perhaps, it’s the idea of marketing & selling yourself as a commodity? Is it really that bad to see yourself in a positive light and to let the world know what a wonderful person you are (within reason of course!)?

Surely Asian Date services are now at the height of social acceptance, given that it’s a rare day, when there is not something in the media associated with the industry. In fact, some newspapers have a daily page dedicated to the subject and it’s quite the norm to see dating advertisements during prime time TV. Not to mention that a particular online dating website is now a household brand that’s even advocated by your granny!

You may well wonder what difference it would really make, to admit using these Asian Dating Services? For starters, you take the pressure off yourself. You don’t need to worry about who may see your details online, feel anxious that the person you bumped into at an Asian Singles Dating Event may tell a mutual friend, or even tell white lies about your whereabouts. By being honest & open, you will feel more relaxed, perhaps take part in more events and increase your chances of meeting someone. Furthermore, you know how hard it is out there, trying to meet Mr or Miss Right. If you succeed through any one of these services, by sharing your experiences with others, you give them hope and in some cases the will to overcome their own reservations and possibly try it for themselves.

As we try to disassociate ourselves from using these dating services, perhaps we've missed the point altogether and simply need to remind ourselves of the bigger picture. Imagine you want to go to Edinburgh, flying is the most convenient & quickest method, but there are no flights available. Although it’s not ideal, you now have to use an alternative mode of transport. By not flying, did this make you a failure? Should you be perceived as a social misfit? I think not. In fact you should be pleased with yourself that you made it to your destination, despite the transportation challenge. As for the friends that you’re meeting there, they don’t really care how you got there, they’re just happy that you’re actually there.

Are you getting the drift now... If you meet your partner through any one of these Asian Dating Services, 10 years down the line when you’re looking back and reminiscing about your married life together, you may remember your first date, your wedding day and the birth of your children, how significant will it be that you used, and met through a dating service? At the end of the day, you’re on a journey to find your life partner. The mode of transport used on your journey is irrelevant, as long as you reach your 'destiny-ation' – you shouldn’t feel embarrassed or ashamed – the most important part is that you get there in the end!

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