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To Be Chivalrous Or Not In The 21st Century? By Alpa Saujani

For as far back as I can remember there has been an ongoing debate about whether chivalry is dead. Some schools of thought are that it is the 21st century where men and women are equals and therefore women should not expect men to treat them with chivalry. Then there are those who postulate that women must live in their masculine energy to thrive as equals against men in the workplace but in their personal space, women must switch and live in their feminine energy to succeed in love and relationships. Confused? Read on and I am sure things will become a lot clearer...

Opening doors

Girl 1: Ahhh what a gentleman, he opened the door, oh yeah he definitely just scored some extra points!

As opposed to Girl 2:
It would have been nice if he at least opened the door, maybe he's just not the 'considerate' type?

Taking a girl home/making sure she gets home ok

Girl 1: That was so sweet of him to walk me back to my car and text to see if I got back home ok, even though we decided that there was no chemistry between us.

As opposed to Girl 2: I know we are not going to see one another again but it's dark and late, he could have at least offered to walk me back to my car...

Call when you say you will call

Girl 1: Even though I'm not sure about him, he called when he said he would so I am willing to at least meet him for coffee...

As opposed to Girl 2: If he can't even be bothered to call when he says he will, what will he be like if we get into a relationship... Next please!

A good listener & respectful of her opinions

Girl 1: He actually listened, asked questions and he was respectful of our differing views, oh yes I am happy to go on a second date with him!

As opposed to Girl 2: Oh my god, I don't think I have ever come across anyone who loves their own voice so much and thinks that they are the authority on everything, second date? You've got to be joking!

Offer coat if it is cold

Girl 1: He was so sweet, he offered me his jacket as he noticed that I was shivering when we were walking back to the station!

As opposed to Girl 2: I was shivering as I had my dress and sandals on, which I wore to make an effort. He could have at least offered me his jacket, I would have returned it to him at the station.

Pay (sincere) compliments

Girl 1: He said I looked lovely, I'm pleased that he noticed that I had made an effort.

As opposed to Girl 2: All he has done is blow his own trumpet all night! It would have been nice if he actually noticed that I was there and the efforts that I had made for the date.

Asking her what she wants to order

Girl 1: I just love it when a man asks me what I want to order and then orders it for me, shows he was brought up with good manners.

As opposed to Girl 2: I can't believe he did not ask me what I wanted to order but even worse he ordered first. Cheque please!

Take it offline, have a dialogue rather than text all the time

Girl 1: Finally! A guy that does not want to give me RSI from whatsapping and texting all day long, he picks up the phone and calls some of the time.

As opposed to Girl 2: I'm so tired of typing all day long at work, seriously why can't he just pick up the phone occasionally and have a conversation. I really don't think I can be bothered with this...

Don't make promises that you can't keep

Girl 1: I'm so pleased that he is a man of his word, shows real maturity, respect and integrity.

As opposed to Girl 2: I don't think I can keep up with his nonsense, he is so unreliable, cancelling dates, promising to make it up and never delivering, we're done!

Be honest

Girl 1: Ok so I liked him and I am a little disappointed but I'm more grateful that he did not string me along and he let me know that I am not the one for him...

As opposed to Girl 2: He is hot and cold, I don't know where I stand. Why can't he just be honest and share his intentions?

Well I know which of the two girls date I would prefer to be on... These acts of chivalry are so simple yet have a positive lasting impression. As a man, if you were ever confused I hope that we have provided you with some clarity. The bottom line is that despite being in the 21st century and no matter how successful, or independent a woman is, acts of chivalry are always appreciated. Ladies please feel free to add your favourite acts of chivalry in the comments section below.

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I agree with Missy K, I think guys should be decisive and just a pick a venue to meet, even if it is Starbucks!
Ok so I am not sure if this falls under chivalry but a guy should always pick up the tab on a first date! Most of the time you're only meeting for a drink and should he ask you out for dinner then he should pay, otherwise I'm just taking myself out for dinner. Sure, if there is a second date then I am absolutely happy to pick the tab up for both of us!
My favourite act of chivalry is when a guy actually picks a place to meet for a first date, rather than ask me, or ask to meet at the station.


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